Sam Byford

This is the fourth and final entry in my Tales From Japan series, a collection of posts that delve into my 2023 trip to The Land of The Rising Sun. Don’t forget to check out parts 1, 2, and 3 to read all about our adventures thus far. 

With great food, a plethora of bars, and a laid-back atmosphere Osaka was my favourite city we visited on the trip. Although back to dorms, the hostel we were staying in was a lot more modern than the one in Tokyo and located only a short walk away from American Village, an area swarming in street culture. Showcasing vibrant art, skateboarding, and with spectacular cars aplenty it was a world away from any of the other major cities we had visited. The whole environment lived up to the name making it feel like we had been transported to some beachside town in California. 

Another famous area in Osaka is Dotonburi, a tourist hotspot packed with restaurants, food stalls, and extravagant signage including the ‘historic’ Glico running man. Glico is a big photo spot in the city with tourists competing to see who can imitate the famous pose. Although the most famous he was nowhere near the most impressive art piece along Dotonburi. That crown belonged to the ginormously outlandish 3D animal models above almost every street food stall. Crabs, horses, cows, and octopi were all fighting for air superiority in a scene more reminiscent of a comic book than real life. It was a far cry from the slick skyline Tokyo had offered days prior. 

As the city’s main delicacy, we knew we had to try some Takoyaki (deep-fried octopus balls), when in Osaka after all. With so many stalls claiming to offer the “original” and the “best” it was hard to choose where to go. We went with the logic of going to the place with the biggest queue as it had to be the best surely…Right?

The skill they were making them with was a sight to behold, every minute hundreds of balls of the battered molluscs were being churned out right in front of our eyes. Each one contained an exact amount of octopus, batter, and sauce. Unfortunately through all that skill I don’t think the batch we received was fully cooked, they were produced too quickly. A bit soggy, and all around not that appetising, the biggest queue strategy had let us down. 

Post Takoyaki Yas took us to Osaka Castle, another non-original but still very impressive fortification in the middle of the city. After a short trip up and down the keep, we headed to the neighbouring gift shop, however, this was no ordinary gift shop. Inside was a full armoury of replica samurai swords, bows, armour, and daggers. Heaven. I was tempted to sell a kidney for just a chance to buy the cheapest katana in the collection but it was quickly pointed out that UK customs probably wouldn’t be too happy with me bringing a literal sword back into the country. It may have just gone above the 3-inch permitted blade length. 

I couldn’t quite live the samurai fantasies of my dreams but the shop did offer a chance for an alternate career path. Located at the back was a target wall lined up for Shuriken practice, maybe a ninja was more my calling after all? When approached Bodie and I quickly jumped at the chance to throw a few stars. It took some time to get into but I soon harnessed my inner Bruce Lee and began to hit with a sharp consistency. The crowd (all 3 of them, Lucy included) were in awe.

That evening Yas took us to his greatest recommendation thus far, a 500 Yen (£2.50) martini bar where as per the name, everything was 500 Yen. En route to the bar, we passed through Dotonburi once again which was even more vibrant, chaotic, and hectic in the dark. It highlighted one of the best things about Japan – At night city streets ooze with an additional charm provided by their neon-lit environments. You are never anxious about venturing off the beaten path with almost every alley inviting you in and driving you to explore them. Speaking of which, the martini bar was located down one such passageway and was nothing short of paradise. We spent hours drinking the night away, chatting with the bar staff, and working through the huge array of martinis on offer.

Needless to say the next morning I woke up feeling a little under the weather, but I had to quickly shake it off as today was sadly the final day of the tour but more importantly, Cup Noodle Day. Cup Noodles is an instant ramen brand that is massive in Asia. On the outskirts of Osaka there happens to be a museum dedicated to the company where you can even build your own flavour.

I have to admit I was quite skeptical of how this museum visit was going to go, after all, I don’t really like instant ramen. But as soon as we arrived all of these thoughts were immediately washed away when we were greeted with two things – A bizzare statue of the company’s founder on a giant cup noodle and two welcoming staff members who handed out small bags which contained additional toppings for our soon to be noodle creations.

Walking through the door the first thing we noticed was the ‘tunnel of ramen’, a display acting as a time portal through all of their flavours from the dawn of time to now. At the far end was the creation zone. You pay 500 yen for an empty white cup which you can then decorate however you want. Most of the group did fancy designs or got people to sign theirs. My lack of creativity became evident here by the fact that I drew the Union Jack and called it a day. 

Once the designs had been finalised, we walked over to the factory floor and handed them over to the staff behind the window. It was here that they then began to add the noodles plus the toppings of our choice before finally vacuum sealing the cup. You can be involved every step of the way with interactive elements allowing you to turn the pot while it’s being packaged. It was a lot more fun than I was expecting, partly due to the amusement that our group raised the museum’s demographic by about 20 years. Naturally, we all fancied ramen once we were done and quite predictably there was a place next door that served a seriously good bowl.

With our bellies in noodle dreamland, the second activity of the day loomed, the Tsutenkaku Tower Slide (slides and museums, a day made for 10-year-olds). The tower itself stands 103m above Osaka, providing a viewing platform across the Shinsekai district, a vibrant area of street art-littered markets. The slide was not my first choice for an activity, with all the photos I had seen online showing individuals screaming for the heavens as they plummeted down the steep 22m drop. As a man who is not keen on adrenaline and refuses to even get on the teacups at theme parks, it was, pardon the pun, not my cup of tea. 

When we turned the corner and caught our first glimpse of the monolith a few of the group rightly chickened out. But with the “when in Japan” attitude equipped, I stepped up alongside Lucy to give it a go. We went into the shop, signed waivers, got given helmets (helmets? waivers? What kind of slide is this???), and headed up to the top. To normal people, I’m sure the slide looks fun and probably even a little mundane, but to me it looked like a descent into oblivion. One by one the group went, all smiling to the camera as they were pushed off by the operators. Finally, my turn. Stomach in tatters I walked up and waved to the camera with what little fake joy I could muster. 3, 2, …. the operators threw me down on 2. Immediately I felt an instant wave of regret as I reached Mach 1 in 0.5 seconds. But then…endorphins and to my shock…fun? No more than 10 seconds later I was dumped out at the other side and ready to go again. 

As the evening drew to a close the curtain began to fall on the tour. However, there was still time for one final group meal and, of course, Karaoke. It didn’t quite live up to the mayhem we had caused on our initial singathon but still a lot of fun. After a few beers Yas even serenaded us a before saying his goodbyes and leaving us to it. What a man. He was a spectacular guide who fully went out of his way to give the tour that extra ‘je ne sais quoi’ (oui).  

The rest of us stumbled back to the 500 yen Martini bar and drank the night away into the early hours, refusing to go back to the Hostel and acknowledge the tour’s end. Alas, the moment did eventually come when we had to head back. We said goodbye to those who were leaving early the next day which included Bodie who left a heartwarming note to the rest of the group. Since we had grown so close in such a short space of time it became quite an emotional evening. I guess that’s what happens when you are all thrown together into a culture that is so different from anything back in the West. You share these unique experiences with others who also haven’t got a clue what’s going on 99% of the time.

The tour may have been over, but our time in Japan was most certainly not, there was still plenty of exploring to be done. It turned out that a small group of us were staying in Osaka for an extra couple of days so we made plans to head out together for one last hurrah. Vive La Tour! Before we could go out exploring Lucy and I checked into our next, final, and best, hotel. The feeling of being back together with stunning views across the Osakan skyline from our king-sized room was luxurious compared to both the hostels and also the hotel we had stayed at pre-tour in Tokyo. I am pretty sure that the Tokyo room could have fit into the en-suite of this one. 

We could have stayed in the room all day until we remembered everyone was waiting for us downstairs. Quickly packing up a day bag we hurried down. For as nice as Osaka was we had noticed it lacked historical culture in the form of temples and shrines. It was probably the first time since arriving in Japan that we had gone 2 days without visiting a single one. So, needing our fix we began to walk to a rather unique shrine we had seen photos of online, one located inside the mouth of an oversized lion. Completely against any other religious site we had seen before, leaving all seriousness far far behind. Almost as if a rich businessman had run out of things to spend his money on, got bored, and had a random thought. Once the novelty had worn off, the rest of the day was spent wandering to other small temples dotted around Osaka, all very nice in their own right but lacking any real sense of majesty compared to the ones we had seen in Kyoto, Nara, and Tokyo previously.

For dinner, we headed to Sushiro for the final final meal together. There were a lot of parallels to leaving uni in terms of not wanting to leave the group and admitting our time was coming to an end. Morgan had an early flight so had to leave post-dinner but Lucy, me, T, Sarah, and Alex kept the evening tradition alive and headed to an arcade. Even now 3 weeks later the local’s skills with the reaction-based games astounded me. The amount of time and patience they must spend mastering them is on another level. A bit different to how we performed….

We played some Mario Kart, went in the photo booths, and once again spent far too much money on the claw machines. Heading back to the hotel via Dotonburi we said goodbye to Alex and T at the bridge dubbed “Heartbreak Bridge”. I still hope we will see them again, and with the amount that T travels (this was his 30th G adventures tour), it is a very real possibility. As they left we made plans to see Sarah one final time the following day at a nearby park – Long Live The Tour. 

It was odd waking up the next day. For one it happened to be the first time in two weeks we had slept in past 7 am but also because there was no manic rush for a train or to meet the group for an activity. It was…peaceful. Once we eventually did rise we grabbed breakfast from 7/11, and headed out the door to “Good Times Ink”. Lucy had wanted a tattoo for a while, and what better time to get one than a once-in-a-lifetime trip? Many think tattoos are shunned in Japan and in some scenarios they are thanks to their connotations with the Yakuza, but there are also loads and loads of tattoo parlors dotted about. The one Lucy had found was really good, everyone spoke perfect English and she was able to design it directly with the artist. After about 2 hours, during which I was thankful for having a wifi box with me, it was done. The finished product was great, a giant postage stamp centralised around a Tori gate wrapped in Wysteria. 

With the ink barely dry we headed off to Keitakuen Gardens to meet up with Sarah. We wandered around the park, leaping over stepping stones and admiring the waterfalls. Once again it provided amazing juxtaposition with its tranquil setting being towered over by Abeno Harukas, the tallest skyscraper in Japan. 

We sat down by a rock and spent some time admiring a kingfisher who was darting about looking for food. Then a very Japanese thing happened. There were around 5 or 6 photographers also observing the bird with their DSLR cameras and massive lenses on these huge tripods. All the gear was on full display. Fancying a break they simply walked off out of the park, leaving their equipment completely unattended for at least half an hour. They had complete and utter trust that no one would steal it. 

We continued sitting and chatting for a while not wanting to leave as that would mean it would be the 3rd and final end to the tour. Alas, just before we were about to be kicked out we wandered back to the bridge where we bid Sarah a final farewell. It was truly over.

With the tour group well and truly split apart like an early 2000s boyband we decided to break tradition and head out for our first “Western” meal since being here, pizza. Whilst having a cocktail at the decadent hotel bar we scoured Google for somewhere nearby. One place jumped out to us “Light and Flaky Pizza” and luckily it was just around the corner. When we arrived we were surprised to see what appeared to be a surfers shack with bright whites, turquoise blues, and an all around chilled-out coastal vibe. Quite out of place in this more business-orientated area of Osaka. We walked through the door where a man greeted us and hastily showed us to our table. We were a bit taken aback by his speed until he informed us that the restaurant was closing in 25 minutes,  but we were welcome to grab a quick bite – After he said this a glance around made it obvious that we were the only customers, something that normally would put me off but the staff was so nice and the allure of pizza was too great so we decided to stay. We quickly got to work scrawling through the small menu, I went for Chicken Tikka, and Lucy opted for pepperoni. Whilst we were waiting both hosts chatted away to us about why we were in Japan and they took a real genuine interest into what we had been doing. At one point they were asking us how to say certain words in English and we even said a few bits of Japanese which they loved. 

The food came a short while later and I was initially taken by surprise, these weren’t your normal Italian Pizzas, they had puff pastry bases. A very simple concept but weirdly one I had never had before. At this point I knew we were in for something special. After trying it I can say that I will now have one again every day for the rest of my life. The whole balance of the melty cheese, tangy sauce, and flaky (I see where the name comes from now) pastry was absolute heaven. It would be no exaggeration to say this was one of the best meals we had. Sensational. With great food and heartwarming staff, the whole experience in this little restaurant was special. It is one of those moments that to anyone on the outside sounds very boring but to us, it was such a highlight to have these small interactions. Before leaving we looked up how to say “delicious” and as we were leaving uttered the phrase. They sent us on our way laughing as they did…thinking about it I hope we said the right thing.

Editors Note: Unfortunatley since writing the blog it seems that the business (and the entire building) have vanished and the mighty ‘Light and Flaky’ is no more.

After spending the past few days in Osaka it was time for a change in scenery. We had been to many castles during our time here but to date, none of them had been “original”. All of them had been rebuilt at some time or another. Located an hour’s train ride away was one of the few original castles remaining and also Japan’s biggest, Himeji. Nicknamed the ‘White Heron’ this impressive structure had never been sieged, bombed, or burnt down. This I think begs the question, was it built in the right place if no one had bothered attacking it?

Hopping off the train we immediately saw the main keep from well over a mile away. Reaching into the sky it imposed its presence over the whole city, a mighty fortress worthy of its name. We had woken up fairly early to get here because we knew it was a public holiday and therefore likely to be busy. Unfortunately, we didn’t quite realize how busy. In fact, when we arrived at the front gates of the complex we were greeted with “the mother of all queues” – A quick Google search revealed that today was the busiest day of the year and multiple tourist pages warned against all but essential travel to the castle. Ah. 

Luckily, although the queue contained half the population of Honshu, the Japanese were efficiency experts and we moved relatively quickly (~40 minutes) through the gates. In typical fashion the grounds themselves were impressive with a series of moats, decadent gardens, and inner walls woven in between. Imagining the history that those walls had seen was fascinating. Lost in a daydream and, worried I might start mimicking samurai training drills, Lucy dragged me through the gardens and into the keep. Due to its age, everyone had to take off and carry their shoes with them before they went up, it was here that the Japanese efficiency met its match. Inside, each floor got progressively smaller and smaller creating increasingly large bottlenecks the further we went up. The floors themselves also didn’t have much on them in terms of displays and information – Even if they did we wouldn’t have been able to see them. They were simple open-plan areas with dark beams and the occasional sliding door cutting through them. It all became a bit samey after a while, especially as we were stuck on some levels for as long as half an hour while we waited for those in front to climb the ladder-like stairs. Maybe this was why no one had sieged the castle before, too many steps?

Eventually, like Bilbo in Fangorn Forrest, we emerged from the canopy and were greeted with sweeping panoramic views across the whole area.

Himeji was not a very big city so we could see almost every corner, including the distant mountains where scenes for the Last Samurai were filmed. I could practically hear Tom Cruise valiantly charging his small band of Samurai into the Imperial Army. 

The attached gardens to the castle lived up the grandeur of the main keep, not only were there some extremely colourful koi but it also separated itself into various walled sections. This provided hundreds of places for you to quietly go off, sit down, and just bask in the surroundings. We spent a fair few hours exploring and getting lost in the small bamboo forest before getting the train back to Osaka in the late afternoon.

17 Days after the trip had begun we found ourselves face to face with the one thing we had been dreading, the final day. We had as much of a lay-in as possible, the flight back home was overnight, and given my track record of sleeping on planes I wanted to make sure I was running on every wink possible. Reluctantly we checked out the hotel, leaving our bags for collection later. There were no tourist activities planned for the day and we mainly spent our time shopping around for souvenirs for friends back home – I think we managed to buy around 20 different flavours of kit kats. 

I say there were no activities planned but actually there was a small one. Lucy had seen a “jiggly” cheesecake online that was sold exclusively here in Osaka. Hoping that it would taste like the magical “Happy Pancakes” of a few days prior we made it our mission to find one. Located in the basement of a large department store it took a while to reach and when we did we realised we weren’t the only ones who wanted to try it. There was a huge queue and with time ticking before our flight that evening we weren’t sure if our cheesecake dreams would come to light. Finally, around 20 minutes later we arrived at the front. However the relief of making it was soon outweighed by dread. We were swiftly informed we couldn’t just “buy a slice”, we had to buy the entire cake…

So with 1 hour to go until our train to Osaka airport we bought the cake, went upstairs, found a bench, and cued the music. 

We didn’t really stand any chance of finishing the 12-inch jiggly behemoth, we finished around half of it which we thought was a good effort. The main issue was…we didn’t really like it. It was light and airy like a souffle but also weirdly eggy in taste. Like eating mousey scrambled eggs rather than a sweet cheesecake. Not quite on par with the pancakes.

Collecting our bags from the hotel we said our goodbyes to Osaka and boarded the train to Kansai International, a unique airport that was built on an artificial Island in the middle of Osaka Bay. We arrived pretty early as we thought we would grab some dinner before the long flight to Dubai. Unfortunately, Osaka airport, or at least the terminal we were in, was tiny and the only things open at 6pm were a small 7/11 and a pasta truck. For such a massive city its airport made Luton look like the Ritz. 

However, we didn’t have much time to complain about pasta-gate as something very surreal was about to happen. Walking towards us was someone I was almost certain I recognised? They got closer and closer and suddenly I realised it was T! What a small world to be getting a plane at the same time. Not only that but it then turned out it was the exact same flight as us. Even smaller world. How we had managed to spend a 3-week tour together but not discussed flights I will never know but a great feeling to see him again nonetheless. We looked over our tickets and saw we were even on the same row…this was getting weird now. Boarding the plane we got to our seats before the final relisation hit. Our understanding of planes was obviously skewed as it turned out that not only was T on the same row as us, but he was actually directly next to us in the other seat of the block of three. What are the chances of getting a flight back on the same day, at the same time, to the same place, AND sitting right next to us? For what was truly one last time, Vive le Tour!!

Epilogue

It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that I would never have the quality of A5 Wagyu beef or the affordable high quality sushi that we had over there – It also took quite a long time to stop bowing to everyone. Back to overpriced sushi, late trains, and medocire weather.  

Nearly a year later I look back at the tour with exceptionally fond memories. Filled with great food, people, and stunning scenery I can’t wait till we go back (and we will). It fully lived up to all expectations I had and was well worth the 2 year wait. 

The group we traveled with, including Yas, also made it extra special. We all got along, shared similar interests, and really enjoyed our time together being thrown into a culture where none of us were fully in control. Talking to people such as T ignited the travel bug inside us both and we have made plans to go traveling at the end of the year – A month in Europe followed by 2 months in South East Asia including a few G adventures tours along the way. We had such a great experience with them that we would be foolish of us not to try out their other offerings…

Arigato gozaimasu and sayonara Japan.